What I’ve learned and observed as an Au Pair

1.       That while I like children, I will not even consider having my own for a minimum of 5 years. I am quite enjoying my youth thank-you.

2.       The best or most effective ways to deal with temper tantrums are subjective. Each parent has their own idea of “what’s best”. How a situation is managed should depend on the severity of the child’s actions. One method does not fit all.

3.       That ‘being at home with children’ is a job in itself. Well obviously as I am employed in such a position. It’s not all clean floors and endless relaxation time. In fact, there is rarely any relaxation time.

4.       When children are involved, you are never finished cleaning up. And just when you think you’ve got everything done and back in order; someone is hungry, dumping a big box of Lego onto the floor, or emptying all the CD cases of their CDs.

5.       There is rarely a break. Even when you think you’re going to sit down and enjoy your lunch, someone doesn’t like what they have and wants something else or has already finished and wants more. Nap time is used for clean-up. It isn’t until both kids are in school, that you get a minute. 

6.       Children under the age of two should be in a high chair or booster seat they cannot get out of when drawing and colouring utensils are involved. Otherwise you end of with marker on: the wall, the chair, the dresser, other toys, and even...your pants. Does that song about black socks apply to jeans? Black jeans they never get dirty...?

7.       The ‘all by myself’ thing starts early. I sit with the toddler as she eats her yogurt. I watch her load up her spoon and bring it to her mouth. I continue to watch as she turns the spoon upside down, prior to it entering her mouth and watch as half the yogurt spills onto her bib and the other half eventually make it into her mouth. I watch as she scoops up the yogurt from her bib and places it into her mouth as well. We’re having Chicken Noodle soup for lunch. It is much runnier than the yogurt and runs right off the bib. I then watch her pick up the bowl and tilt it so she can drink the broth. Her pants are always soaked after soup. But she doesn’t want help. Good for her. I think she’s even starting to get it bit better.

8.       Dumping yogurt out onto the table and then moving it all around with your hands is a fun game.

9.       5 year olds have a great imagination. Tight rope walkers named Zucchini and people who dance with snakes are not imaginary games I would have thought of playing.

10.   Lock the bathroom door when anyone else is present in the house. Otherwise, children will let themselves in and expose your rear for anyone in the hallway to see.

11.   Children always get stuff on your clothes. Food, tears, snot, juice, marker, sand, etc.

12.   Their noses always run. Don’t go anywhere without Kleenex.

13.   I hate the parents that send their kids to school with the flu or any other stomach viruses. Naturally, the children touch everything and all the other children bring it home and pass it on to you. I’ve had at least two stomach bugs this winter. The last time I had a stomach bug, was when I was the child and in elementary school.

14.   People who park their car on the sidewalk or block more than half of it are the worst. Yes, I will wait as you move for me as I am not about to dodge into traffic with a stroller full of someone else’s kids. Also, your bike belongs somewhere other than the sidewalk. Oh yes, just let me pull the stroller over so you can wheel on by. And finally, hey street planners, if you want everyone to be so damn environmentally friendly and ride their bikes, put in some more damn bike lanes!

And finally, while I am already ranting about the sidewalk blockers and other sniffling children, I would like to add a note to the coffee shop/children’s indoor play place. Your store is geared to parents with children under the age of 5. Yet, your food is not overly kid friendly and you have placed toys that are for sale within the reach of a toddler under 2. In fact, you have put it at their eye level and then pointed out to me that the children are not allowed to touch anything that is for sale, just the toys in the buckets. Yeahhhh, the children don’t see the difference. And if you own or are working for such a business, you should know better.

Children: Learning Their Language

Have you ever watched the interaction between a parent and children under the age of 2?

On a number of occasions, I have been in the presence of young children and watched or listened as they babble away, as if they are having a conversation. In the early stages, their parents often respond with things like “oh really?” or “ya” to indicate to the child that they are listening. When the child reaches the next stage, they start to pick up actual words and put them into their conversations. When they use words such as “yes” or “no” I would find that it was generally very clear, but when they start learning more words, I found it difficult to understand. Actually, it still sounded like babbling to me, but then I would hear the parent respond with something like “Oh you’re hungry” or “Is this the toy you were looking for?” and the child would be satisfied. I would look on feeling both impressed and a bit guilty for being the only one who didn’t understand. I felt particularly bad when the child was speaking directly to ME and the parent would then “translate” the request, making it sound so simple.

I have finally learned that it’s like a whole other language and unless you have already learned that child’s particular language, you are not going to understand. Not the type you will learn in a book, but the kind you learn by immersing yourself into it, aka being that child’s parent or working with them every day. The youngest one I look after was at that stage when I first began working with them. She knew a few words, but I found it difficult to understand. I was told it’s important to talk to them at that age because that’s how to learn new words. It felt a bit strange, talking away to a child who wasn’t really responding. So I would just talk about what I was doing…”okay, let’s put on your sweater, now your shoes...first the left foot…and the now the right foot…” Slowly, she started to add new words by repeating something that her mom or I had just said.  For instance, if I said, “would you like some pancakes?” She would respond with “ya” or “pancake”. When I’ve only said 5 words, it’s pretty easy to understand or guess at what she’s just said. Now, having previously heard her say these words, I understand when she says them to me again later because I am familiar with how it sounds when she says it. And now, she is at the stage where she tries to repeat the majority of the words I say. So in the few short months that I’ve known her, her vocabulary has grown and I am able to understand. So, here we are, I’ve finally learned the “language” and looking after young children isn’t so difficult after all.

Employed!! Katie the Nanny

Its finally happened. After leaving home almost two months ago and job searching for a total of 6 weeks after my job searching orientation, I have finally found something!
Position: Nanny/House Help for two children of a German and English speaking family
Salary: €12/hour
When:Monday-Friday 7:45am-2-3 from now until January
          Tuesday-Thursday 7:45am-2 or 2:30pm from January - May

I finally have something to fill my time, pay my bills, and fund all of my fun and travels.

I think the job is going to be pretty great. I've spent a number of years working with children, the difference being, those children were fed, dressed and brought to me and I was teaching them to swim. Now I'm the one getting them dressed, fed, and out the door. Luckily, I have some babysitting experience and a brother who is enough younger than I am to prepare me for changing diapers, dressing them up in coats and shoes, and spending hours sitting on the floor playing whatever. Although, that was a few years ago so when dressing the 16 month old this morning, I had to re-figure out, what arms go in when and try and not get her stuck with her dress half over her head. I'll admit, it got a little stuck...but she was fine.

I was a little nervous on the first day. What on earth do 16 month olds like to eat for breakfast, lunch, and snack? At least a four and a half year old will tell you exactly what they want and how they want it. Fortunately, the mother is not back at work yet and had planned a transition period of getting the children use to me. It kind of like job shadowing. I accompany her to take the children to school, and run errands, learning where everything is located. She tells me what she wants me to cook or prepare and I can get the housework done in the meantime while the children are at school. So plenty of time to see what they like to eat and how the like it prepared.

And in addition, I will now be taking the under ground train and a street car on a regular basis to get to their house so I have finally been forced to figure out the how these train things work. Matt did help to map out my route, but I had to go it alone. It was a successful journey and prepared me mentally for all of the trains and buses I would be taking on my upcoming trip.

       

Job Hunting

So the job hunt has been going pretty slow.
As previously mentioned, I did not choose to stay in Berlin and a few of the suggested places to look for work are not available in Nürnberg. For example, Berlin has a magazine called Tipp Berlin that comes out every two weeks and can often be found for free in local cafes. I have googled all of the Nürnberg magazines, sorted through the piles in café’s or bars and checked the local News stands and none of these magazines have job postings. Another suggestion was the local tabloids, you know, the ones with the half naked girls on the bottom? I bought one and did not find a single job posting, except for the Astrological signs that I had initially mistaken for job postings.
The Saturday/Sunday Newspapers do have pages of listings, but sadly, no return calls from that.

 I have posted my resume on a few sites now, including Monster. Last Friday morning, I received an e-mail asking me to contact them by phone. I thought this might be promising, but sadly, the lady did not speak English and I could not understand her German. Needless to say, it was an awkward phone conversation followed by a German e-mail from her explaining that most companies require a good amount of German and she would not be able to help me, followed by an exclamation mark! This makes me wonder what employers interpret the line that reads”German language level-Basic” as, on my resume.

You may want to try The Local, Germany’s news in English which has a jobs section easily accessible from the main page. While I check this site regularly, sadly again, most of the jobs are not in Nürnberg.
You may also want to try a temporary staffing agency, but if your level of German is like mine, you should probably inquire in your letter whether it is possible to communicate in English.

Cautionary notes on using Google Translate. While it has been extremely helpful navigating the sites and translating job descriptions for me, I have started to notice that it even translates people’s names!!!! For example, Frau Schuh becomes Mrs. Shoe. So, while I am certainly not the one to be telling anyone “don’t use it, it sucks” because I don’t know what I would do without it, just remember that tidbit before you go and address your cover letter to a perspective employer. 

Getting my Visa

The process:
Having decided the end of May I was moving to Germany, I made it a little more official the middle of June. I filled out my registration form and took my reference letter and $480 registration fee to the closest travel cuts, as outlined on the SWAP website. I was a little nervous but I sat down with the first available travel agent and told him I wanted to register for SWAP. This agent became my “travel counsellor”. Due to the nature of the program, I spent very little time with my travel counsellor. I handed him my forms and I paid my registration fee and that was it.

My mom couldn’t believe it when I told her how much I had just paid for the registration, “WHAT DOES THAT GET YOU?!” She was right, I didn’t really know what that got me and $480 was starting to sound like more and more money. Within the next week as outlined on the site, I received my Welcome Package (EXCITING!). At the second step of the process, was it worth the money?? ...YES, YES, and YES! The Visa application form was in 4 different languages, the printing was small and I didn’t even know what some of the questions were referring to. Luckily it came with a sample form where someone had demonstrated all of the necessary information I should be including. The package also included a very detailed list of everything I would need to submit to my travel counsellor in order to get a visa. Anything else? Yep, it included a handbook specificallyy geared to working and living in Germany, where to look, and a sample Resume and Cover Letter template (because they are very different from those in Canada).

I took my time throughout the rest of June and July and didn’t submit my forms until Mid August. The package itself didn’t take too long to compose, I just couldn’t decide on when I wanted to leave! In order for your visa to be processed, you had to book a flight and purchase medical insurance. I was also saving up my work money for the support funds suggested as necessary for the trip as I would have to submit a letter from the bank with my visa application.

I submitted my application to my travel counselor and within 3 weeks, had reached part three. I received my visa, my boarding pass, and a package full of maps and Germany guide books.

As mentioned in my last post, I am moving with Matt. His job is pre-arranged and his orientation is set so my leave date revolved around that and whether we would travel or not first. The verdict: Were meeting in Paris, France a week before his orientation and spending a few days in Paris and a few days in Düsseldorf, Germany before moving into our apartment. And so September 26, 2011 (just 4 days now) is the big day when I depart from Montreal and head out on this journey!